Recliner Ruminations

So, I've been spending a lot of time in my recliner. I had back surgery. I. Am. Bored. I've been reflecting a lot; it's amazing what you see about your life when you actually have time to look at it. There's also something about sitting in your life. All the angles are different, limited. And looking at things requires a different physical position. There's a song by Kenny Chesney that talks about a chair he sits in that inspires and comforts him. I'm not saying my chair is anything that glamorous, but spending time in it has made me think. I have been able to slow down. The perspective I've gained is worth recording.

Being away from a stressful, people-oriented job has given me a great (and well-deserved) opportunity to study it from another angle, too. My job had me believing that people are basically idiots. If you give them long enough, they will disappoint you. They are horrible to each other, even their kids. They are selfish, they make stupid, risky decisions; they are entitled and irresponsible. But, now that I've been "treated" to my recliner, I realize there are good people out there. Lots of them.

Start to finish, my surgery was full of people who genuinely cared about me. They treated me with respect, dignity and courtesy. They were good at what they do. They were happy. And with one exception, they didn't disappoint. I am very grateful for everyone who did what they were supposed to they way they were supposed to for my benefit.

I realized this about my job, too. Every day, I spend most of my time doing things that just aren't important to me. I spend time with people that for one reason or another I have a sort of stewardship over; they are not the people that mean the most to me. I believe in helping and serving others, but at this point I realize there is no other single thing I want to do more than take care of my husband, my house, and my growing kids. They are the people I want to help and serve. My house, which to me has a spirit, and every other being in it, which also have spirits, needs me. My spirit needs to do it.

I have been impressed from my reclined position, that the person I thought I'd lost is really there, she's just been buried by other things.  I rediscovered her while reading another blogger talk about overcoming trials.  I found a quote on her page that any other day I wouldn't have had time to read, let alone write down and share.  But I did.  I let it sink in and I realized that I want to take better care of me.  I want to do things that promote that person - the Jodie that is grateful, happy, funny, thoughtful, peaceful.  I don't want to promote the Jodie that binds and gags those qualities because she's too busy or too angry or too tired.  I want to be free, joyful, and well-rested!!

Obviously, this is no easy task.  This is a whole 3 years worth of garbage that has to be taken out, and possibly disposed of in scented gargabe bags because it reeks!  Unfortunately, before I lift anything nearly that heavy, I have to spend more time in my recliner.  Which means I have to ignore the cracker crumbs on my bedroom carpet, the cobwebs on my light fixtures, and the dust on my blinds for a few more weeks.

But, I can focus on what I can do from there - I can write, I can search for ideas on the web, I can read books, and think.  Really think!  I just can't express how good that feels!